Sekirei is owned by Sakurako Gokurakuin
Ranma1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi
Birds and Wagtails by Tycel
Edited by Cat on a Shtick
Chapter Three: Conversations and some fun.
” ” Normal
‘ ‘ Thought
88888888
Last time on Birds and Wagtails…
“Help yourself Happi” Ranma said, sitting down next to Tsukiumi and grabbed some chopsticks.
“Itadakimasu!” They cheered and started eating.
8888eighty-eight8
Happosai was jumping from rooftop to rooftop heading towards Nerima, he had heard a rumor that one of his worthless disciples had taken residence there. Well, lets just say he wanted to dish out some well deserved punishment.
The closer he got to Nerima the more anxious he got, after about ten more minutes of roof hopping he stopped and sat down Indian style and started going through his pack.
Lets see here, Small jug of water from Jusenkyo. Labeled ‘Spring of Drowned Panda Bear’, Home made Grenades, and of course his tobacco pipe. Sighing he lit the tobacco for the first time since he met Ranma and his ‘wife’ as she called herself, she detested the smell of tobacco and refused to let him smoke even going as far as drenching all the tobacco in his bag. She hadn’t told him the fire reminded her a of a troublesome acquaintance as well.
He had to admire that, she could control that element with the precision of a master decades older. She might be one of the few exceptions to his belief that a woman should not be into Martial Arts. ‘Oh those boobs, the long legs, that mini-dress when the wind hits it just right…’ A small stream of blood made its way out of Happosai’s nose, as a lecherous grin dominated his visage, and he shook his head to clear his thoughts. ‘I’ll day dream about her later..gotta deal with that fool Tendo.’
88888888
A man in a white tuxedo walks up from behind Minaka, stops and salutes him. If one paid attention, one would notice that the suit was white, just like every part of employer’s attire, it would seem he even dressed his employees poorly.
“The Project is ahead of schedule, sir, only six to seven months until we activate phase two of the sekirei plan.” The random employee in the tuxedo said, waiting for a reply from his boss.
“Good, Good, Continue then.” Minaka replied, and then started to laugh like every other mad person with plans of world domination, trying to make it sound just different enough to not seem generic.
88888888
Soun Tendo felt a shiver go down his spine when he looked out at the night sky. It was a clear night and you could see the full moon. He shivered again as the feeling of doom started to settle in his stomach.
‘What is coming this way?’ Soun thought, he looked over to his right and saw Kasumi enter the room with two cups of tea and put one down in front of him, taking a sip.
“How do you know that man father? He was extremely rude earlier.” Kasumi said, also taking a look at the moon. ‘It really is beautiful tonight..’, She sighed and looked at her father expectantly.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that my dear girl, I’m sure he was just excited to see a old friend again. We first met under the dreaded master. We suffered in hell for 10 years, while training under that monster of a man” Soun said, taking a breath before continuing. “We had to endure many things from the old man such as cleaning up his messes after he finished a raid..” Soun stopped when he took a look at his oldest daughter who glared at him, he gulped.
“A Raid, father?” Kasumi said, a little too sweetly for his tastes, he gulped again and got up making the excuse that he was starting to feel a little under the weather. He fled quickly, fearing the way she could enact punishments with a smile on her face, seemingly innocent all the while, just like her mother.
88888888
Nabiki turned her computer off, having already found and printed what she was searching for. ‘Ranma Saotome, son of Genma and Nodoka Saotome, age: 15, sex: male ‘, now one would wonder why or even how she knew of Ranma Saotome at all. Well the answer was pretty simple, a background check on Genma Saotome yielded quite a bit of information, from literally hundreds of petty criminal reports and child abuse charges, to kidnapping, aiding and abetting a known fugitive, several for child prostitution, and even a grand theft yattai, whatever that was, levied at him. That in turn made her very curious about the son of such a man, hence why she now has this file, but there was one problem with the file. The majority of it was protected on such a level that she couldn’t find any information from about the last six months or so, this was starting to get very interesting.
She sighed, but first there was something to do about their newest house guest, being mean to her oldest sister was something that just shouldn’t be done.
88888888
The following day at the Tendo Dojo…
Akane had just got done doing her morning exorcising, which was a morning run, then moving on to demolishing about 300 pounds of helpless bricks. Walking into the main house she saw her oldest sister making breakfast and other sister drinking a cup of coffee, she coughed. she hated that stuff. It was so freaking bitter it was cruel. She was pleased to say she had once produced the only naturally sweet and tangy coffee in history.
“Almost time to go-to school little sister” Nabiki said getting up after finishing her coffee and grabbing her book bag and started towards the door.
Akane realized that she had started late on her morning exorcising because of the new house guests snoring, it sounded like a chain saw just idling. She groaned and ran up to her room to change into her school uniform and raced out saying bye to her oldest sister heading to school.
88888888
Happosai looked down from where he was standing on top of the wall outside the Tendo Dojo, and snorted. The Tendo Dojo? Not a single student had entered or exited except for that tomboyish girl, and she was a beginner student at best, and that was being generous. ‘Ah well, time to have a little bit of fun’, he smiled and hopped down and snuck into the house. It really was pathetically easy to get into this house. Soun really slacked off and He could also sense Genma was here, wasn’t that ironic? Barely a city away was where his son was, and yet here he was, the fat oaf, freeloading off the cry baby. Happosai smiled, he was standing behind Soun, and tapped him on the back of the head with his pipe. Lightly of course, he didn’t want to hurt him. Yet.
Soun turned as white as a ghost, and slowly turned his head around and barely caught sight of his old master. He jumped forward and ended up hitting the wall head first, which in turn caused Genma to wake up and come down only to turn white as well and start to run.
Genma looked around when he noticed that while he was using all of his considerable will to run, he wasn’t going anywhere. Gulping, he sees the dreaded master coming towards him, Soun was scared stiff, literally. He didn’t move after being nailed against the wall.
“Well, Well, I heard one of my old students was living here, but not both. How… fitting, I suppose is the word for it.” Happosai said, smiling evilly he opened up his bag and produced a small bottle and popped the cork on it and poured it over Genma. The change was instant, where once a fat man stood a now still paralyzed Panda Bear. He laughed and turned around to look at Soun, who had just started to wake up.
Soun’s eyes widened considerably when he saw his old master standing beside a Panda Bear, he got up and started to make his way to the back door.
“Oh, Don’t worry Soun old boy, I’m not going to curse you. You do after all have, other responsibilities.” Happosai said, while moving even closer to Soun, jumped up and grabbed his ear hauling him down to his knees and dragged him out to the Dojo for where the next few hours were best left untold. Needless to say Soun Tendo never looked at pipes, bras, panties and even lacy nighties the same. The seceding days he could be heard whimpering about canned sardines.
Genma just sat like that for four or five hours until the pressure point wore off and he went back upstairs to take a nap, he’d beg the master to cure him later. His nap time was cut in half, because he couldn’t stay asleep standing up for more than 15 minutes at a time or so.
Happosai spent the next few months terrorizing them save the three girls, oh he and Akane got into spats but they were resolved quickly, well at least to Happosai they were. Akane never was one to use her brain and not poke a sleeping dragon with a sharp sword.
88888888
About two months later…
Tsukiumi was in the kitchen reheating some left overs they had from the night before, whistling a tune to herself when the phone rang. She stopped just long enough to answer it and then paled, the phone dropped to the floor and she quickly bent down to pick it up.
‘Oh shit, its her!’ was the thought that crossed Tsukiumi’s mind as she put the phone back up to ear, after about three of four minutes of listening to how disappointed the person on the other line was she finally replied.
“Yes, Ma’am. I’ll bring my husband over to meet with you” She sighed, looking around to see if Ranma had shown up after practicing in the dojo, she didn’t see him so he must still be out there.
“Yes, Ma’am. We’ll see you in a few days.” Tsukiumi hung up her cell phone, put it down on the counter in front of her. She screamed and ran up into her and Ranma’s room.
End of Chapter
(A/N:) Lol I couldn’t resist but the next chapter is going to be kind of special..well at least for Ranma. I think Tsukiumi is going to get kind of mad at him.
Omake: ‘Conversations of the Mad’ by ‘Cat on a Shtick’
In a dark room lit by only a small overhead dangling lamp and flickers every so often two people sit just out of view. One is almost visible with all the white he wears. The other, a small cat-girl with sandy brown hair and verdant eyes has only her face in view, and can be heard scratching something.
“Would you mind explaining your obsession with white, of all the damn colors, Minaka-taichou?”, she almost demands of the off kilter CEO, her voice sounding like Kugimiya Rie.
“Why not, Cat-san?”, is his simplistic retort. The cat-girl develops a slight tick in her eye.
“Oh not that again! I swear, seeing you in so much makes me want to stain it with your blood.”, which is punctuated a particularly loud ‘nail on chalkboard’ sound.
“You’re just jealous because if your wear white you always stain it with condiments.”
“I do not! I’m a virgin, I’ve never even seen a condiment!”, she yells in feminine fury, “And you’re avoiding the question. Why white?!”
‘clearly’, is his thought. Deciding he’d very much like to keep his softer, fleshy parts, he keeps his immediate response to himself.
“White is the purity of my intent, the purity of my love for mankind!”, the man of white declares, flaming background and all.
Casting a skeptical eye, she retorts, “All the while you’re trying to take it over with hot super-powered slaves? Are you sure it doesn’t have to do with more than a few of your sekirei always wearing wearing white panties in panty shots?”
“Up-skirts are the noblest pursuit! Why do you think I had Tsukiumi programmed to stand in high places, wearing short skirts?! Why even the way your tail lifts up to reveal the buruma you wear under that tan dress of yours is moe.”
With a large menacing sparkle in Cat on a Shtick’s eye, we zoom out of the rusty old warehouse they were meeting in. Minaka can be heard screaming into a phone and at his pursuer in a amusingly feminine voice,
“Yes! get her the hell away from me! Call in the disciplinary squad, the mercenaries, everyone. No! I will not give those pictures back, nothing is more beautiful than buruma up-skirt! Except maybe Tsukiumi and Musubi, and maybe white panties in general. EEEP! Watch the teeth!”
They would have trouble reattaching everything, even with billions and M.B.I.’s medical resources at their disposal. Minaka Hiroto would never be the same.